In an ideal world, you think, as you gaze in the mirror, a distracted haze over your eyes as your mind wanders, a submissive would be perfect, and never make a mistake. In an ideal world, once rules are set out, there would be no need for punishment, no need for correction. Things would just settle into a healthy flow, and everything would be as it is. Because that’s the reason for the rules, is it not? To provide a structure and a framework to work from, guidelines to follow and carry out, so that both the lives of the submissive and the Dominant are the better?
Well, I say, as I playfully flick your ear to get your attention, because daydreaming really isn’t becoming of a grown woman such as yourself, that’s not entirely true. Because ‘ideal’ isn’t really a construct that interests me, and ‘perfect’ certainly doesn’t. It’s the blemishes that make the masterpiece, after all, and rules are no exception. Take a proper seat, not that vanity chair, and get comfortable. I shall explain to you how I perceive things.
I’m saying all of this, because that is how I like to lay out my arguments.
Rules aren’t meant to be followed. No, that’s wrong. Rules aren’t expected to be followed. Not entirely. There’s always the expectation, to the extent it’s almost a certainty, that the rules will be broken at one time or another. By their very merit, the reason they are rules is because they’re going against a natural impulse, or something that’s a temptation. There’d be no point in a rule if you would follow it regardless of whether it existed or not. Of course some rules shape society in such a way that they do become natural, but that’s a whole other conversation.
So, when I’m laying out a set of rules with a submissive, I’m doing so with two things in mind. One, that I’m making this list awfully long and intricate, and two, I’m doing this because I don’t want her to be able to follow them all. It sounds cruel, and I suppose, in a way, it is, but the thing is you need a baseline to work off. I need to show her what consequences there are to rule breaking, because while the carrot is a wonderful thing, and an excellent source of vitamin A, it’s not enough to be a sole motivator. You need a bit of the stick. Sometimes, girls want a bit of a stick. No, that’s wrong. Most of the time, a girl wants a bit of the stick.
Perhaps this is not news to you. Perhaps you know that rules are going to be pushed and tested, momentarily forgotten about and properly reinforced. However, I think it’s worth highlighting, because there’s (rightfully so) a pressure on a submissive when those rules are set out. She chews her lips, squirms in her chair, because she knows, at some point, she’s going to fail.
The important thing to bear in mind, at that time, is that this is ok. You will be punished, of course, because that’s what you want, really. But mild infringements won’t cause disappointment, or anger, because they’re expected. It’s only wilful disobedience, continued failure to understand, that’s going to illicit those reactions. Of course there’s a learning process, and of course, you’re going to make some mistakes. Hell, the Dominant will probably make some mistakes, but you just have to look the other way, or laugh it off, when that happens.
And so, boys and girls, the purpose of this little piece is to take off some of the pressure. Relieve it a little. Don’t think it’s an excuse, a doctor’s note to take into school and get out of a punishment when you do break the rules. “But Sir, some man on the internet said it was to be expected!”. But do know that when you do break them, it’s not such a bad thing. In fact, you might both enjoy it. I know they definitely will.
P.S. I hope you’ll allow me that title, as mildly inaccurate it is. Of course rules aren’t meant to be broken, but I’ll often fall for the temptation of a pithy header, even if it’s only tangentially related to the content. Still, it fits the theme, and catches your attention, so don’t sweat it too much.